11.30.07
why am i your dutch uncle?
Kids,
I’ll tell you why.
Too much of what is written in the blogosphere is politically correct. You don’t want to piss off the big boys (and ladies) because they can so easily flame you out on their superblogs. Every comment is tempered to suit the inflated egos.
Then I woke up one day. I’ve had enough. I don’t want to be one of the millions that diligently reads posts, writes nice comments trying to keep the conversation going because that only exacerbates the problem. Only when you’re skeptical, do you ask the right questions. I’ve now become skeptical and I want to be wary of any thing that anyone says. Because in my offline life, I’m pretty much a conformist. I’m meek. I’ll take what you have to say into consideration with little to no self-thought and I am ashamed of it.
So, I’m now The Dutch Uncle. I’m not about rants, instead I’m about undressing the shamelessly well clothed posts and comments that claim to educate you. That is just silly. I don’t think you’ll ever find even one post of my as congratulatory because I have so many frenemeies out there who write that crap anyhow. No sir, I’m going to tell you as it is. You’ve grown used to the claim of intelligence and education by all those jokers.
Update: That is why I love Fake Steve Jobs.
How uselessnessy was this post? And you spent time reading it? See what I’m saying about being conditioned online by these damn bloggers?
the liars at linkedin
Kids,
Have you ever used this LoserTool? Are you the kind of person who is excited when she/he gets a request for an introduction because you feel like you’re networking? Have you had your stomach sink to the pit when someone refused to accept your invite or request to talk?
Welcome to the world of lies that is linkedin. Read this interview run passively by adam lashinksy. How unquestioning is his review? The nye fellow says they’ll make a hundred million next year and they have 17 million users now. I got off my lazy ass and punched in a few numbers and am still shocked that no one is calling nye’s bluff.
If he is going to make 100 million dollars next year, how is he going to get there with less than 10% of his users paying for this LoserTool? I’ll never pay for this crap (unless my employer buys me a subscription) because all I need to do is add as many people as I can and expand my network. If they were gullible enough to accept a stranger’s, i.e. me, invite then why would they not agree to pass on my request for an introduction? You would, wouldn’t you? Especially if you saw that I have 10000+ contacts, so now I automatically look important to you.
nye is a liar. Those numbers don’t match because no one in their right mind is paying 200 bucks a pop for their most expensive (or as they bill it - most economical) subscription. The cheapest one is just too cheap to use. The middle one is the only one left (and hence it is it’s most popular one). nye is probably going to canned next year. This LoserTool was dead a year and a half ago when they missed the social networking bus. Which idiot at this company missed that opportunity especially when they were exactly where they needed to be to take advantage of this revolution. Did that person get bounced because he realized he effed up?
mike arrington
Kids,
I don’t know what to make of mike arrington.
Is he more of an electronic loud mouth or actually doing something valuable other than raking in the dough for his “new media company”?
All day you get these posts about what scrappy two-bit startups up in the bay area are developing. All day. Day in and day out. And not a dime is to be made by us. I wonder who he is really serving and if there is any use to his news at all. I think we’re all caught up in the hype that was the Million Dollar Homepage.
Zopa to launch in the US. You’ve gotta be kidding me. A “peer-to-peer lending startup” is what again? There is something known as good useful reporting and then there is a post about something called Zopa. All of us complain that there is information overload on the Internet. I beg to differ- I think there is a bullshit overload on the Internet; good useful-to-my-life stuff is very hard to come by and is drowned out by these bits of perfect uselessness.
I’ll tell you what is useful in life: don’t be fooled by the experts. They want you think that they know, but believe me, they don’t. Hey, that makes me an expert on experts and so don’t buy a word of what I’m saying OK? Which is exactly the point - have your own opinion by straightening up that bent backbone and listen to the crowd. And me, sometimes.
yet another outlook tool
Kids,
WTF! You need more tools for silly old Outlook? It bugs me to see joksters like “Boxbe”, “ClearContext” and “SendShield” get some serious marketing cred on a “popular” blog like GigaOM. Seriously, were the GigaOMers paid to write about this crap?
As if Outlook isn’t slow enough or courted enough by these little bastards, we continue to get hammered by these guys. Seriously, someone is actually funding email tools. All three websites look like the same, looking like they’ve just fed off each other’s energies or lack thereof. OK, let’s go through them shall we, class?
Boxbe lets you “easily create an email guest list so that you can make sure you receive email messages from people who matter to you — friends, family, co-workers and even entire domains” … duh! It also “basically creates a Boxbe-folder, which allows you to carefully sift through everything, and classify it as you deem fit” … duh again! What, you want us to actually do work? Actually create an email guest list? Like I have nothing else to do. Tell me what YOU are going to do for my inbox spam clutter. Sounds like a bunch of crap for a scrappydoo startup trying to tackle spam. Spam is not going to go away people, just like how you can never get rid of those teleannoyers.
ClearContext “has developed an “inbox management” add-on that has a more project-centric view of your inbox and automatically helps you keep track of specific projects and related items such as emails, to-dos and calendar items in a highly automated manner. There is an interesting feature in this software: colleague spam.” They think you’re stupid. Really. I already keep track of my projects, to-dos and calendar items - yeah, they’re called reminders.
I’m not going to say much about SendShield. If you’re too damn stupid or lazy, and believe me, so many clients and colleagues send me documents with embarassing crap (and tracked changes and comments too) that you first of all don’t deserve to email me or anyone else. How moronic must you be to not double check your work - and SendShield is laughing in one’s face everytime someone uses it.
Remember, there is a little too much bullshit out there and a little too many eager-beavers like GigaOm who love to market crap just because they can. I ain’t buying any of these losertools because I know I’m a little too smart to think I need this crap.
